Death is only the beginning, but why does it hurt so much when it happens?

My kitten died.

These three words are more depressive to me than any other right now. I feel lost. I don't care if ppl think it's silly to be depressed about a cat dying because they can just fuck themselves because Minie was mine. She was my first kitty. My first. Everyone who knows me knows that I love cats the most. And anyone who's even seen my post about Minie knew that I loved her so much. Anyone who's talked to me in the last week or so knows that I love her because she's all I talk about. I loved her like a mother to a child and to just lose her so suddenly is killing me. I can't even stop crying. Jae keeps looking for her Mini, but Mini's not there anymore. It's depressing because I was so happy I had my own little JaeMin, right in my house. But now it's just Jae and that's not right. There should be a Min there. I don't think I should watch the Hug PV for a while. Or even listen to the song. Just seeing her namesake is just...I don't know. This is so weird and silly and dumb because I'm depressive over a cat, but I can't help myself. I'm an emotional person who right now has a cup of Rum and Coke trying to drink away her sorrow. Maybe it wasn't a good idea for everyone to leave their alcohol over at my place, eh? It doesn't matter. I just need something to knock me out for the night. I won't make it a habit, I promise. It's just...I think right now is a time when I think I actually do need a drink.