alone

i feel left out of the group. i feel as if no one cares. and yet, when i think about it, maybe everyone feels left out. because everyone gets the same amount of attention as everyone else, it just feels less than everyone elses because its you. its because when you're part of a group you have to behave in the way people want you to behave, because they expect you to be this person you are on the outside, and never look all the way in. because to them, this is you. this is who you are, even when the person inside screams that this isn't you at all. you try to fit into a world that really isn't a world you want to be in, but its the only world you can live in without being totally rejected and being alone. no one wants to be alone, but everyone is alone. we try not to be alone by surrounding ourselves with superficial things; friends, money, posessions. they are all symbols of our need to feel needed, to feel companionship, and even love.